Why, ahoy there. I am starting a new feature, called “This Day on A.S.B.” I realize that for many younger folks (especially under 30) Usenet is a relative unknown. Though many of us have a love/hate relationship with Fetlife, very few of my peers are really familiar with other ways the kink community has communicated online. But if you enjoy the trainspotting forum on Fet, the history of online forums, or the ‘thrill’ of knowing you might run into posts written by your parents prior to your ability to write in cursive*—the old Usenet forums are the place to you. I’ve written about Usenet and the alt.sex.bondage newsgroup before, but what could be better than primary sources? What I love most about delving into the old archives Google has stored in Google Groups is how versatile and robust the kink community has been online. Many of the things we are deliberating about today—safe ways to use a flogger, coming out to parents, finding that special Master or Mistress, where the good munches are, dealing with abusers, expressing fantasies in a public way, when a pun crosses the line to being too nerdy, how anonymous kinksters must be when writing openly—are actually continuations of conversations that are over two decades old. TNG** kinksters (especially those who are not in the leather or old-guard scenes) don’t always think of ourselves as a group with roots and history—but we totally are. All that said—I want to share a small sampling of what was going on at the alt.sex.bondage newsgroup this time 20 years go. It is as weird as it is random, which of course is half the fun. I am not necessarily sharing these snippets to make a Grand Point about BDSM. Mostly, I just want to make this part of kink history tangible and real for those who may be missing out. 20 years ago is nearly a generation. And for me, at least, it’s fun to think about how the kink community has changed in that time, and what we can learn from comparing our communities to how they were back then. So without further ado, I’ve posted some excerpts below, mostly without commentary, because why muck up their awesome with my own thoughts, hmm? Fun with ice (request for comments): One person writes:
I was discussing fun with ice yesterday with my bottom (well, no, _I_ was talking, she was wimpering and crossing her legs). The topic of an ice dildo came up.This sounds like a fun thing (to use … not to have done to me, though I think she may get bad ideas from it 🙂 ) … but I’m a bit concerned about cramps and other nasty nonconsensual stuff like that. Anything I should know/worry about?
Submissive Topping This thread was rapped up after nearly a discussion. The original author, Meriel, started the thread out with a letter:
Hi ASB, I topped for the first time Saturday night. It was interesting. I met my partner at a local SM club. We had both been attending meetings for the past few months. He knew I was submissive, but when he suggested it, I agreed to top him. We went to his apartment. He had brand-new cotton clothesline, and I brought feathers from a feather duster. There was a minor problem after I tied his hands and attached them to the head of the bed. We didn’t have a knife strong enough to cut the rope, so his feet didn’t get tied. After I got him tied up, I found out that he was incredibly ticklish, just running my hands lightly over his ribs made him jump and howl. The feathers were kind of overkill, but I used them for a bit anyway. 🙂 I was a little surprised to find out that pinching his nipples had very little effect. They were less sensitive than the rest of his chest and his stomach. The ice cubes worked reasonably well, I took one in each hand, and ran them over his entire body until they were completely melted. I discovered that I have have some questions about topping. The main one is: How do I get my orgasms? When I bottom, I focus on my own pain and pleasure responses in order to come. When I topped, I was focussed on my partner’s responses. It was fascinating to watch, but not in a sexually exciting way. Right now, I look forward to topping him again the way I look forward to doing a crossword puzzle. It’s a challenge, and it’s interesting to observe how other people think, but it isn’t sexually exciting. What am I missing? Is it all attitude, or are there things I could physically try which would help me to come? How do I lose control, and have my orgasm, and still stay aware of whether my bottom is enjoying himself or getting close to calling safeword? Does anyone else have this problem? How do you deal with it? -Meriel.
You can find the follow up posts in the title-link; she got several replies including but not limited to: a discussion on the nature of topping, cunnilingus, and bilingual puns. And this incredibly sweet homage to a really good friend. That’s all for now! I really like writing this, so you can expect more in the future. Hope you all liked it too.
* Sorry, not sorry, this actually happened to me! Luckily I didn’t click the post ~just~ saw the subject line. Be still, my vomiting eyes! ** The Next Generation; a designation often used for 35 and under munches in the kink scene.